Athena the Cat (Redux)

ME: Click I switched off the light then walked to my room. Step, step, step…

ATHENA: “Wheaow!”

ME: “Bump!,” I hit Walt’s door to keep my balance! The door opens.

ATHENA: “Eaowoo, hissssssssssss!”

BUDDY: “Heh, ah heh, ah, heh” Buddy, Walt’s German shepherd mutt runs out of Walt’s room, which is across from mine, after the cat…

WALT: “What happened? Heh, heh, heh…”

FILO: “Scratch, scratch, scoot, scroot scrootch” Filo the little dog arrives, curious.

WALT: “What’s going on? Geez, I can’t believe this!”

ΜΕ: “I, I dunno”

ATHENA: “Hisssss”

WALT: “OK, OK! Buddy! Come here!”

ME: “Sheesh, I almost got bitten! The hall is so dark, I couldn’t see her.”


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3 Responses to “Athena the Cat (Redux)”

  1. lunchontuesday Says:

    I can’t wait!!!!! Bring it on!!!!

  2. Andy Jendrzejewski Says:

    Yes, but I acknowledge that it has bouquo(sp) problems. First the rhythm is not right. It’s too long explaining something that happened in a split second. The poem came closer to capturing that. Second, the ending seems flat, or am I thinking too traditionally about intro, buildup and climax?

    I am thinking about revising the form, with more introduction at the beginning to set the stage, then have sounds through the rest of the play with little explanation. DStay tuned for Redux 3!

  3. rachelle Says:

    oh my lands,
    i love that this is evolving into theatre

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